A Letter to My Pregnant Self – My 9 Tips

Dear me, congratulations on the new baby. You are in an incredibly crucial and transformative period of your life. You might not fully realize this now, but perhaps it's even better that way.

1. Let me start by telling you: Your body is currently performing an incredibly vital task. In our society, we often fail to recognize this enough. You are creating a new being! No, you cannot be as productive as before, no, you cannot accomplish ten things a day anymore. You might manage only five now. Some days, not even that. Yes, you might feel sick, but hey, your internal organs are making way for the baby. Yes, you might run out of energy, but remember – you are creating a new being! You are pregnant now; do not expect yourself to function the same way. Because you're doing something different, and differently.

2. You will never get back your pre-pregnancy body. Just like you will never have the skin of an adolescent again because you have aged in the meantime, period. Why do you expect something back that has passed? For a start, accept yourself in all the stretch marks and curves that pregnancy brings you. Yes, you will be able to lose weight, and yes, you will be "normal" down there again. But don't rush it. Your body needs time. Don't fall for perfect Instagram photos. All women have a postpartum belly as if someone is still in there for another week, and we are all soft, needing our time.

3. There will be significant changes in your relationship, or there already are, precisely due to the baby. A child fully brings out the baggage of your basic families. And both of you have it, neither is perfect. The dynamic changes with each subsequent baby, and you cannot really prepare for any because you don't know what lies ahead. Your significant other will also be pulled into this whirlwind of changes, and everything will feel like new to him each time. Do not expect too much from both of you; beginnings are always challenging and tiring.

4. Look forward to the birth. Truly – look forward to it. This is the time when you can discover how strong you are. Of course, it will be tough, and it probably will hurt, but when it hurts the most, you are just about to meet your child. When you think you cannot bear it anymore, you are capable of a bit more. And the pain is not stronger than you because contractions are ~ you.

5. Do not resist the pain. Seriously, do not resist it. This is not the moment to push the pain aside – then, it will hurt even more. Each contraction is a wave carrying you closer to your child; accept each one separately. Do not worry about how many more will come and how long it will last because you don't know, nobody knows. All you have is this current moment, and in each moment, you can decide how you will accept the contractions and how you will breathe through them.

6. Dance, move. Your body is meant for movement, not lying down. The baby is being born in the J-shape direction, and gravity will assist in positioning the baby correctly and traveling downwards. You know how to dance, believe me – even if you've thought until now that you had no rhythm. Listen to your body. Listen to your body at every moment of childbirth.

7. Allow yourself to be loud. Midwives are used to it. Do not be ashamed; do not hold back your voice. Let the birth overtake you, and with your voice, help the baby come out. At least this time, set aside worries about how you will appear, what others will say, or what they will think if you shout or deeply growl.

8. Rest after childbirth. For God's sake, please rest! Where are you rushing?

9. Listen to yourself when it comes to breastfeeding, and do not watch the clock. Do not measure how much time the baby spends on the breast, and do not think about the fact that the baby should already be full and sleeping in their own crib. To that child, you are their whole world! The baby, in the first few weeks, is not even aware that they are no longer in you. And your child's whole life has been spent at the maternity ward – today, so much newness: the first time wearing clothes that smell different, the first time having an egg, the first car ride, a home that is entirely foreign to them, scents they do not know. Everything is brand new. The only thing they truly know is their Mom. That is why they will cling to you. Hold them close to you, change breasts and be with them so they discover that they are safe, that they are actually Home.